Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A huge sigh of relief

It's all good now. Thank whatever f*cking God there may be.

I found a tape not too long ago that was of a play I was in in the 4th grade. We didn't have a vcr in the house, or so I thought, until Hallee said she wanted to watch Disney movies, which we only have on vhs. So I went downstairs like the good boyfriend I am and turned the place upside down in hopes of location a video cassette recorder. Turns out my intuition and sweaty anger-throws aided my discovery of an ancient vcr.

Due to this, I had to watch my video. Because of this video I will be writing a very long poem about growing up sometime in the coming days.

Slainte, Chris.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Are all of you sexist?

To paraphrase I can't f*cking believe she said that the only reason males talk to females is because they want sex. You can tell this isn't going to be a cheery post already. And if you can't, do us all a favor and euthanize yourself.

It started out a regular good conversation. Then got into the thing about her not liking me talking to other girls out of jealousy; that part is fine. Then I talk about my friends who are girls. Then she says something that is, for now and I think will remain, unforgivable.

Hallee: The only reason guys talk to girls is for sex.
Me: So it's impossible for men to actually want to talk to women because they might actually find them interesting and want to hang out with them?
Hallee: Yeah.
Me: So why do I have friends that are girls?
Hallee: I don't know... So that if a relationship doesn't work out you could go try to have sex with one of them?
Me: ....... *deep breath so I don't tell her how bad I want to kick a hole in the wall* So the only reason I'm with you or have female friends or EVER talk to any woman is because I want to stick my c*ck in her?
Hallee: Well, I mean you act like a good guy and everything but... Yeah.

Any comments or insight? Agree or disagree? Or will the faith that I've let begin to fall lead to disaster and faithlessness in women?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Phew that feels good

I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday and realized it wouldn't be easy to get her unmad about that whole issue. So I skipped class with her and we talked for a good 3 1/2 hours about things that were bugging us, now we're dandy. *Mumbles something about relationships*

Anyway! I've got an OTTOTH for you today.

Screaming of the Lambs

I hear them...
Clawing at my mind,
Night after night.

They look harmless...
Until you see their rotting flesh,
And then they snap and bite.

Twisting my thoughts...
I try to rid myself of them,
Though they won't leave without a fight.

Agony seems to drive them...
Is it them or me?
If only I could find which of us was right...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Another Tuesday

Bah! Fuck Mondays. They always have some sort of negative outcome, and I'm an optimistic person. More girlfriend trouble... I hope you all learn something from the situation I'm about to post.

So my girlfriend has slight ganja abuse problems. She also thinks I have slight alcohol abuse problems. Those are just for reference in the situation.

So the girlfriend, myself, and our mutual female friend decide to go to a party. Prior to said party girlfriend & friend get high. Incredibly high. Brand-name weed high, high. Again, reference.

-The Story of Why Chris is Pissed this Tuesday-

We go to this party, and I start playing beer pong. Both gf and f are still in the living room of this place, talking. A while passes and I begin to get sort of drunk, just feelin good, etc. (So no black-outs or anything, I remember the night clear as day.)
Then, eventually the party livens up and there are a hell of a lot of people there. So gf and f go into this guys room in the back. Now I wouldn't usually have a problem with this part(and it's only slight irritation) but because my girlfriend likes opiates and coke, I refuse to leave her alone too long in the bedroom of someone who sells it.
So I go in and out of the room a few times, attempt to socialize with the gf and f, and they're both too high (I've got no sources or any information pointing to if or if not gf did coke that night, but I'm guessing she didn't.) to even talk to me. So basically I'm ditched at this party, WHILE THEY'RE THERE.
I'm fine with this, ya know whatever I'm just going to go drink some more and meet new people, right? Wrong. Eventually I realize that there's no one there that isn't preoccupied with other people aside from these 2 women I don't know.
I walk over and start up a conversation for lack of anything better to do. I sit down, nurse my beer, and just talk to these two women. Eventually, since I usually do so that I can make friends and all, I ask one of them for their number.
Just as I do that, girlfriend walks out and sees me doing this. I'm fine with it, it was just an innocent conversation after I had been ditched in a whole new way, right? Wrong. She gets angry and accuses me of hitting on this girl and asking me "why would you want to party with her" and blah blah blah, blah blah, blah mother fucking blah.

So that's the story... Which took place on friday night. It's not tuesday morning and she's still pissed about it, doesn't trust me, and thinks I'm potentially unfaithful.

OH! Also, I said I'm fine with the idea that I can't meet any new females, BUT, that means she shouldn't be able to meet any new male friends either, just for fairness sake right? I'm still waiting for the girlfriends take on this because after I brought it up last night "I don't want to talk about it." became her mantra.

I think this could lead to interesting thought. I had planned on putting up an OTTOTH(off-the-top-of-the-head) poem, but I'm too angry at this given moment.

Have a good tuesday!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines Day

So of course I wrote a poem for my girlfriend today. Actually I wrote it the sunday before jail sunday, I'll post that one when I get my hands on it again, since I don't remember all of it off the top of my head. But today, in the spirit of this corporate scheme, I'll write 2 poems: 1 for singles and 1 for couples.

Pink Hearts on Valentines Day

Gleeful and fun
The snow outside aside
Basking in the sun
We'll make love
Until the day is done.

Cheesy phrases heard all day
The birds outside chirping
Like it was the month of May
The feelings we have swell more and more
And no one could make this feeling gray.

Pinks, whites, and all the hues of red
Complexity becomes simple
When we lay here in bed
And I can smile when I think of
All the things we've said.

The Single on Valentines Day

Unmatched amounts of bliss
The adventure unique today
Maybe just to find that kiss
On no other day
Is the search quite like this.

Something quizzical lingers in the air
The smell of something new
Not all of challenges will be fair
Though the singles push on
And break ice with a large teddy bear.

The things they hear the couples say
Could bring hope or disgust
The only thing that gets in their way
Is if they decide to not
Have a happy Valentines Day.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Jail is being a domesticated animal

So I did my little stint of jail time. Only friday-sunday. It was alright. Could have been a lot worse. Surprisingly there are interesting people in jail, although every single one of them has been in and out of jail a lot. What the fuck?! You'd think after the first or second time they'd go "hey, I don't want to be stuck in here anymore." But no. They continue... Fucking idiots.

So jail. It's like being a domesticated animal. You have a small space you're confined to.

-I was in a place called the Ferris center which is a place for people to be stuck there but also get to go to work, since they weren't too bad. So it was basically a main room about 15 x 45. With 8 small off-shoots which housed 3 steel bunk-beds, and 6 lockers. There was also a bathroom which had 3 toilets, 1 urinal, 4 showers, and 4 sinks.-

So back to the animal feeling. There's the small confined place, analogous to a house for a pet. You get fed when they feed you (which was 5:15, 11:00, and 5) which is obviously how most house pets have to deal with it. You don't get to go outside. Now this is a bit different for animals, even worse one might say, because I had the ability piss whenever I wanted. Animals usually have to be let out.

I now understand why dogs get so excited when they can go for a walk. I would have attempted a backflip if one of the deputies would have put a lease on me and said "let's go outside!" even though it was -20 out.

All in all, I now will be diligently walking my dog whenever I can, or taking her for car rides or something, because we all take for granted to freedom we have just by being able to open doors.

Onto the poem. I didn't get the inspiration to write while inside jail but I did while talking to my girlfriend (who I started dating Feb 1st of this year.) on the phone last night. It was an idea that popped into my head while thinking of past relationships, so I'm going to write this off the top of my head.

Trust without Trust

You say that you care about me
You've been wrong in the past, I understand.
You say you 'mainly' trust me
Yet all of my trust you demand.

Why is it I should invest myself
When you refuse to follow suit?
Why should I give my all
When you only give the minute?

Expecting everything from me
Heart soul and mind.
Yet what I get from you
I am forced to find.

Semantics and excuses
Become your weaponry,
I do hope you realize
You're conjuring catastrophe.

No more will I endure this tragedy
Your wish no longer my command,
Our once flourishing paradise
Now lay buried by your hand.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Jail in less than 24

So due to some trouble (a second OWI(operation while intoxicated)) I'm going to be in jail this weekend. Though I decided I would leave a poem for all (so... 2-5) my readers.

The Recurring Nightmare

I "wake up" to a dry puddle of tears,
Welling in my pillow,
Another day to chase nothing,
Has arrived again.

"Another day another dollar,"
"A penny saved is a penny earned,"
Why?! For what purpose?!
Who coined these mind-numbing phrases?!

I "wake up" to a dry puddle of tears,
Welling in my pillow,
Another day to chase nothing,
Has arrived again.

I guess I'll daydream,
Since I can't sleep without the dread,
I'll daydream of a deeper meaning,
Something to make -everyone- alright again.

I "wake up" to a dry puddle of tears,
Welling in my pillow,
Another day to chase nothing,
Has arrived again.