I think I'm done with this.

Not my relationship which has gotten better than it was prior to all the other bullsh*t that occurred, but my blog. I've lost readers and I've found that I feel anxious if I don't have responses. So I'm thinking I'm just going to stop posting. I'll probably check back in a few days or a week or so to see if anyone has any objections.

Cheers,
Christopher.

All's well on the girlfront but school still sucks.

So all's well with Hallee now. I've dealt with it harshly and swiftly.


One of Pandora's Boxes

Little boxes that look like presents,
At least in the way they're presented.
Pain and suffering are said to be their allure,
Is it -all- humanity in which is allured?
Lust or love, which is the one we crave?
Why is it we catch ourselves in the middle of craving?
Is the meaning of life to win?
Why do we all feel like losing?

Imagineiff

L o O

Love or obsession?
Clever deception?
Manipulation
With a citation...
Who cares to think anymore
Then again, had to before.
Who is whole...
Anymore?

Yet... Again.

God... F*cking... D*mnit...

We were playing "Questions." The game where people ask each other questions back and forth and the person who's answering must be honest.

She asks me 'In the time before we were going out did you mess around with any other women?' Since I'm a person of high moral character, obviously not.

Then just for fun I ask her the same question. Turns out before we were going out, she didn't. But the day we STARTED officially being a mutually exclusive couple she kissed another guy... She f*cking kissed another guy the DAY WE STARTED DATING...

I decided to give her another chance because I do have faith she won't do it again and because she started to cry and begged me not to leave her. Agree? Disagree? Comments? Thoughts?

I've got no poems right now, sorry.

A huge sigh of relief

It's all good now. Thank whatever f*cking God there may be.

I found a tape not too long ago that was of a play I was in in the 4th grade. We didn't have a vcr in the house, or so I thought, until Hallee said she wanted to watch Disney movies, which we only have on vhs. So I went downstairs like the good boyfriend I am and turned the place upside down in hopes of location a video cassette recorder. Turns out my intuition and sweaty anger-throws aided my discovery of an ancient vcr.

Due to this, I had to watch my video. Because of this video I will be writing a very long poem about growing up sometime in the coming days.

Slainte, Chris.

Are all of you sexist?

To paraphrase I can't f*cking believe she said that the only reason males talk to females is because they want sex. You can tell this isn't going to be a cheery post already. And if you can't, do us all a favor and euthanize yourself.

It started out a regular good conversation. Then got into the thing about her not liking me talking to other girls out of jealousy; that part is fine. Then I talk about my friends who are girls. Then she says something that is, for now and I think will remain, unforgivable.

Hallee: The only reason guys talk to girls is for sex.
Me: So it's impossible for men to actually want to talk to women because they might actually find them interesting and want to hang out with them?
Hallee: Yeah.
Me: So why do I have friends that are girls?
Hallee: I don't know... So that if a relationship doesn't work out you could go try to have sex with one of them?
Me: ....... *deep breath so I don't tell her how bad I want to kick a hole in the wall* So the only reason I'm with you or have female friends or EVER talk to any woman is because I want to stick my c*ck in her?
Hallee: Well, I mean you act like a good guy and everything but... Yeah.

Any comments or insight? Agree or disagree? Or will the faith that I've let begin to fall lead to disaster and faithlessness in women?

Phew that feels good

I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday and realized it wouldn't be easy to get her unmad about that whole issue. So I skipped class with her and we talked for a good 3 1/2 hours about things that were bugging us, now we're dandy. *Mumbles something about relationships*

Anyway! I've got an OTTOTH for you today.


Screaming of the Lambs

I hear them...
Clawing at my mind,
Night after night.

They look harmless...
Until you see their rotting flesh,
And then they snap and bite.

Twisting my thoughts...
I try to rid myself of them,
Though they won't leave without a fight.

Agony seems to drive them...
Is it them or me?
If only I could find which of us was right...